Money to humans is like water, it is impossible for us to go for prolonged periods of time without it. We need to make money somehow based on our skills and expertise. We need a job.

But in order to get a job, you need experience and a college degree. How can you get a college degree if it costs money that you barely even have? You get a job. But a job requires experience, and the only way to get experience is to get a job… uh oh, we’ve entered never ending loop.

Enter: Freelancing

The solution to make money and gain experience at the same time, is to obviously do some freelancing work. Freelancing is great because you get to be your own boss, choose when to work, and what to work on.. except that’s not really the reality of it; no matter how many influencer and circle-jerk reddit posts will try to convince you.

You are not you’re own boss. You’re a walking billboard in an ever growing sea of obnoxious billboards that try to low-ball each other in how much their services cost.

You don’t get to choose when to work on something, or what to work on. You will rarely find anyone to hire you, so when an opportunity arises, you’ll take a contract out of desperation; even if the job you got goes against your own beliefs or principles.

However, working is never meant to be breeze. You will always encounter issues all the time as long as people are involved in anything. So with that in mind, you still want to make money; and this rocky path seems to be the only one. Where do we start?

Enter: Upwork

I fucking hate Upwork.

Everything from here on out is my experiences with upwork. Sure, you might be one of those redditors who goes around claiming that they make 80 dollars an hour on that site; but I don’t care. I only made 20 dollars for the past 3 months I’ve been using it.

Upwork is a freelancing platform. Someone posts a job, then you try to quickly apply to that job, and HOPE that whoever posted that job didn’t forget that this website even exists.

You will run into a lot of ghost jobs that when someone views and rejects your proposal, you can actually have a sigh of relief that you wasted connects on an actual human being.

But wait, what is connects?

Connects

In order to apply for a job, you need to spend connects. Connects are like the virtual currency that upwork uses to limit how many jobs you can apply to in a month if you don’t pay them money.

This system is fucking atrocious because it limits your opportunities, and due to the majority of jobs being posted having their OPs unresponsive; you are forced to gamble with “waiting for a better opportunity with someone who appears more human” or someone else applying and taking the job from you.

To give you an example on how terrible this system is, out of the 17 jobs I applied to, I’ve only got a single contract, and that contract was very much a scam.

Nightmare client from hell

I’ve always liked writing stories, and if I ever switched career paths away from programming; I would definitely take up job as copywriter or author.

That’s why I’ve decided to not put all my eggs in one basket, and apply for other jobs that aren’t just programming related; like writing, data entry, and photo editing. This seemed to work, because as soon as I took up this decision, I actually got my first actual client, a real human being with flesh and bones, who not only viewed my proposal, but also talked to me.

Sure, the client sounded like a incel/misogynist who wanted a bunch of “MY BITCH WIFE LEFT ME” stories; but who cares? money is money. I was ecstatic, my first ever contract, 150 extra buckros that I could add to my bank account and speedrun funding my college’s next semester’s fees, so I can finally have some extra money on the side to breath a little and save up more freely. Unfortunately, that happiness was short lived.

The first problems arouse when the client accused me of using chatgpt to write the first draft that I ever gave him. Now, if this was some random shmuck on the internet saying that about my writing; I would have told him to go fuck himself with the largest cactus he could ever find. However, this was a client, and I had to remain professional with him.

I humored him, and pointed out that the style of writing that was in the draft was actually the style that he personally gave the okay to. He ignored that, and took my joke about how “I wouldn’t pass any college assignment due to me sounding like an AI” seriously. Wasn’t the best start, but I’ve managed to make the conversation move forward by giving him a second draft with a style that I’m more comfortable writing with myself.

Then another problem showed up. Terrible Response times.

If I want feedback on any draft, I would have to wait a full day or two before I could get any response from him. This made this job take longer than it should, because once I’m done with a draft for a story, I would have to wait until he shows up again within the next 48 hours, then try to ask him a few questions for the new draft, then wait another 48 hours for him to respond, etc etc.

I’ve noticed very later on that trying to communicate with him was nearly impossible, as any attempt to try to fix any communication issues between us was not an option; so for the last story I just silently did changes based on what he didn’t like (very often the entire story), and my thankfully the last interactions I had with him did not include anymore headaches until he “put the project on hold”.

I was supposed to write 15 stories, 10 dollars each. I wrote 6 stories, and only got paid for two.

Enter: Despair

I do not like putting myself into the mindset that I’m going to be stuck in one state or position forever. When I was in highschool, I convinced myself that I would never graduate due to how much our terrible system was hellbent on making me fail over and over again. Today, I’ve finished my first year of college, and I’ve passed almost all my courses with an A or a B+.

I want to convince myself that just like with my highschool graduation issues, I will come out on top, and my life will continue moving forward in a positive direction, instead of slowing down to a halt. However, with the ever increasing inflation rates, my country’s increasing costs of living, and me paying for college and all transportation to it, I can no longer live off 175-200$ monthly, and I need a better monthly income.

I currently do not have the capacity to save money for anything but college. If I lose my only source of income for whatever reason, I can’t continue college.

If I can’t get a bachelors degree, I can’t get a job. If I can’t get a job, I can’t support myself. If I can’t support myself, I can’t leave this country. If I can’t leave this country, blah blah blah.. you get the point.

Doesn’t matter where you are in the world or what your situation is, If you cant find a job that pays well enough, you are fucked. Sure, you’re doubly fucked if you’re trans and live in a country that despises your existence. But you’re still fucked regardless.

I have a hard time believing that it will get better after spending all that time being rejected or ignored from anywhere. But maybe after I give it some time, I’ll find something. Maybe a job that pays 800$ a month at least.

Conclusion

I don’t know. I’m tired.

If you want to support me, please donate a few bucks; everything helps.

If you are an employer reading this because I link my website in my CVs, give me a job please.